He graciously takes your hand

and bows in your direction.

Your name is on his dance card, twice.

It seems as if your feet don’t touch the ground.

The two of you are radiantly moving around the dance floor,

seeing no one but each other.

Eyes are locked together, you’re curious.

Dance steps and spins are carried out perfectly.

Suddenly the music stops.

You stop dancing and get a good look at your partner.

You gasp and your arms drop to your sides.

You feel weak as you fall to the ground.

The magnificent evening fades before you

as you realize you were dancing with death.

(This is a poem that I wrote about my father after he had his 2^nd heart attack when he was only 41 years old)
Days continue to go by

and your image stays in my mind.

Your silhouette plays

with my memory,

dancing to a slow song.

Reminiscent thoughts of you

have complete control of my body,

like a marionette

you pull on my strings.

Even in the most concealed

parts of my mind you hide

waiting, it seems, for the

perfect moment to reveal yourself.

Although I expect these surprises,

you still manage to leave me shaken.

You taunt me with an

unforgiving smile and tender heart.

Thoughts of you brighten and

shadow my mind.

I’m falling deeper into

a never-ending abyss of love for you

and still my feelings go

almost completely unreturned.

You know how I feel, but

instead of giving me a chance,

you take advantage of my weakness.

You are constantly toying

with my emotions,

playing a game that

I cannot win.

I’ve given up on

letting you go.

Forfeiting to you

relentless beckoning.

You’ve won me over.

Here is your trophy,

I am your prize.

Three Words

You spoke three words,

true confessions of the heart.

I feel I need to reply,

but don’t know where to start.

I can feel your gaze upon me,

such a simple stare.

I want to repeat the words,

but do I really dare?

Your eyes urge me to answer,

pleading for relief.

I try and yet I cannot speak,

I’m stunned by disbelief.

It’s hard for me to tell you

my feelings are the same.

I might feel them, too,

but what if it’s just a game?

I’m looking for an answer,

one that I can’t find.

I know we’re meant to be together,

we’re two of a kind.

I vaguely remember repeating

the words as we go our separate ways.

Complicated emotions have

overtaken me these past couple of days.

I repeat our conversation,

from beginning to the end.

The last three words you spoke to me were,

“Let’s be friends.”

Snowfall

Snow falls so freely down to the ground,

everything is quiet, silence, not one sound.

A door creaks open, oh so slowly,

a tiny foot steps out; not very boldly.

Out comes a boy, no older than four,

his mother tugs on his hood and closes the door.

Very cautiously the boy stuck his tiny toes in the snow.

Hands trembling with fear; does he really want to go?

Snowflakes hit the boy’s tiny nose,

they stick to his mittens and melt on his clothes.

The little boy is no longer afraid,

he steps onto the ground and starts his own parade.

Marching around, being a bandleader,

stopping to glance at the icicles on the birdfeeder.

It is then the boy realizes how fun snow can be,

all you have to do is take chances and be free.

One Year

For one year I’ve remembered

things best forgotten.

Pain still surfaces

showing itself;

reminding me that

it’ll never go away.

I have been made stronger

after my entire self

was brutally shattered.

I thought I was invincible;

things like that don’t happen

to people like me.

A lifetime of good judgment

was scarred after one night.

My life has changed.

No longer am I the one

that knows what to do

or how to deal.

Now I’m the one crying,

searching for something

inside of myself

that I haven’t seen

in one long year;

a sense of peace.

Mine was stolen

along with my dignity and pride.

All of this because of

one stupid mistake.

One mistake and one year of pain.

It’s funny, I was never scared.

Even now, memories don’t scare me.

They taunt me in the worst

condescending way,

but they don’t scare me.

“What are you afraid of?”

I wish I would have lied,

pretended I was afraid,

but I always have to be strong.

“I’m not afraid of anything.”

God, I’m an idiot.

I let you take me

and do what you wanted.

For a few seconds you

controlled me,

you owned me.

And for a brief second

reality hit.

I had to move you.

I told you to stop.

You were drunk,

does that excuse it?

Does alcohol make this right?
You thought so.

I told you to stop.

I kicked and pushed.

You finally moved

when I hit you just right.

Nothing ever happened,

justice was never served.

You still roam the streets.

You have put me in

a category I never thought

I would ever be in.

I am a victim to

your drunken stupor.

Your face is a blur now,

but I can still feel you,

smell you, hear you.

But I am not scared,

just scarred.

You’ve taken my pride

as your trophy,

but I’m moving on.

It has been one year.

A year of pain and insecurity.

I’m moving on…

Love given is yet to be returned.

Warm hearts turned cold by deception.

Undying flames cease to exist.

Passion untamed lay still.

Under it all do you really care?

There is no more mystery in life.

No satisfaction given by a pure being.

You are free while being tied down.

Escape is what you longed for,

and now imprisonment awaits you.

Your lasting smile disappears.

A salty tear lingers.

Your “perfect” life has ended.

Desolation awaits your arrival.

Happiness is a part of your past,

Solitude is all of your future.

Chapter 1

Susie hadn’t slept the night before, and the evidence was written on her face. Her eyes were heavy, but filled with nervousness and excitement. She was only 15 years old, but she was about to experience a day that she would never forget: the first day of high school. For years her and her friends had talked about what it would be like to roam the halls of the huge school and how they would befriend the popular crowd. Now the moment of truth was here, Susie tugged on her brand new pink sweater and pulled her hair back into a pony-tail, knowing that she looked cool.

When Susie got to the bus stop she could her sniggering behind her. She turned in time to see some older girls pointing at her and laughing. Turning back around, she convinced herself that there was no way they could be laughing at her, after all, she tried very hard to look good this morning and she knew she’d fit in, even with the popular kids.

“Look at the pink thing she’s wearing. It looks like a Muppet crawled on her and died.”
“I know, what was she thinking leaving the house looking like that? She didn’t even do her hair. You would think she would at least do her hair.”

Just then the bus pulled up and Susie, who was fighting back tears, stepped onto it and sat in the first empty seat she could find. “Welcome to high school,” she thought to herself.

The rest of her day continued in the same way. The outfit that she knew would be the next big thing to hit the high school scene was a flop, and no one, except for her old friends, even looked her way, let alone stopped to talk to her. By the time Susie got off of the bus after school and started walking home, she was completely drained. She had never imagined that high school would be anything opposite of her dream school. High school was supposed to be the best time of your life, so why did she feel like she didn’t belong?

As the weeks began to pass, Susie got into a routine and it really didn’t even bother her that the popular kids didn’t want anything to do with her. She was happy hanging out with her old friends. Things were just the way they used to be; the only difference was they were in a bigger school. She was one of the top students in all of her classes, and was happy with the way things were. She didn’t even mind when people talked about her; they referred to her as the “nerd.” She knew that if she was going to advance up the social ladder she would have to be more than the “nerd,” but for now, she was happy where she was.

With only three months until the end of the school year, a new girl transferred to Susie’s high school. Her name was Angelique, but she looked nothing like the angel that she had tattooed on her left arm. She had dark hair and lipstick and a crooked smile, and everyone wanted to get to know her, but nobody seemed to be able to get close to her. She seemed to be a very mysterious person. Whether it was the fact that she was the new kid or because she really was cool, Susie, along with everyone else, had to be friends with her. Here was her chance to be with the “in crowd,” but it was different this time. To this girl, she wasn’t the nerd, or the girl who started her school year with a Muppet looking shirt. No, to Angelique she was just another person that went to the same high school, and Susie hoped beyond hope that before they graduated, they could be friends.

A month had gone by with not so much as a “Hello” from Angelique, and Susie was getting discouraged. What was so wrong with her that not even the new kid would talk to her? Susie knew it wasn’t just her; Angelique hadn’t really talked to anyone since she had started. Every time they passed each other in the hall Susie would smile Angelique’s way, hoping that she would at least return that, but she never did.

It was almost time for finals and Susie was studying in the library, but her mind kept wandering to Angelique. Why should she sit around and wait for Angelique to talk to her when she could talk to Angelique herself? During lunch, Susie stood up from her table and walked through the rows of her merciless peers and came to a stop at the table where Angelique was sitting by herself, with only a book and her Discman to keep her company.

“Can I help you?”

Susie’s demeanor began to weaken.

“Uh, I noticed that you were sitting by yourself so I thought that you might like a little company. I didn’t realize that you were reading, though, so I’ll just leave you alone,” Susie said as she began to walk away.

“Hey, kid?”

Susie turned around, embarrassed that she had even attempted to make friends with this mysterious new girl.

“Yeah?”

“What’s your name?”
“Susie.”

“Susie, I’m Angelique, why don’t you come back here and sit down?”
Susie obliged, but wasn’t very comfortable. She had never done anything like this before. She could easily excuse herself and join her friends back at their table. She turned that direction now and saw them all casting glances in her direction. They were just as shocked as she was that she had attempted to make a new friend on her own.

“Suze, you can call me Ang.”

Susie smiled, knowing that she really was going to be friends with Angelique.

The school year finally ended with Suze and Ang hanging out every day after school and on Sunday nights. Once summer came, the two were inseparable. Susie never saw Ang on Saturday nights, though, and always wondered where she went and what she did. One day she asked Ang what she did all the time on Saturday nights. Ang told her that it was her family night, and that was why she could never go out then. Ang’s answer surprised Susie, she didn’t see Ang as much of a family person, but she thought that family night was a good idea. Susie didn’t care that she couldn’t hang out on Saturday nights with Ang; she was perfectly content knowing that she had a friend in the mysterious girl that everybody wondered about.

Chapter 2

It was a Saturday, and Susie’s sixteenth birthday and Angelique had come to her party, wearing a long shirt to cover her tattoo and her lips were bare of the dark hue which normally painted them. Ang had stayed after the party to help Suze clean up a little bit. The two of them volunteered to clean up the kitchen together, and as soon as Susie’s parents had left the room, Ang turned to Susie.

“So, are you ready to find out what happens on Saturday nights when you hang out with me?”

“I thought that you had family night?” Suze said with a look of surprise on her face.

“I know that’s what I told you, but I didn’t think you were ready to find out. Are you ready now?”

“Yeah I’m ready! What are we going to do?”

“Well, we’re going to go change and then I’ll show you a real birthday party.”

Susie was ecstatic; this was one birthday surprise that she hadn’t been expecting. She wondered if Ang had only been waiting until her birthday or if she had somehow proven herself. Whatever the case, she was just glad that she would be included in the mysterious activities that had been making her extremely curious. She was finally beginning to feel like she was part of the “in crowd.” If only the girls at school knew that she was going to be hanging out with Ang tonight. Everyone still wanted to know this girl that had the ambiance of “cool,” but only Susie got to hang out with her.

Later on that evening, the two girls were in Susie’s room getting ready. Susie donned the new sweater that her parents had given her earlier that day, but Ang didn’t think that it would be right for the evening.

“That’s cute, but not for tonight. Here, wear this.”
Ang handed Suze a white tube top that would barely cover her and a black mini skirt.

“Are you serious? You know my parents would kill me if I went out like this.”

“I know, that’s why you’re going to put your regular clothes on over the top. They’ll never know, trust me; this is what I do with my parents. They think that I’m just going over to some friend’s house to study. Come on, your parents will never know.”

Susie grudgingly tugged the tube top over her head and a sweatshirt over the top of it. She was willing to do this so that she could fit in; she didn’t want to lose Ang’s friendship over some stupid clothes. This was her moment to prove herself and that’s exactly what she was going to do. Ang smiled in approval and the two of them left the house.

They walked about half a mile before they came up to a house that Susie had never paid any attention to before. It looked like all of the other houses in her neighborhood with shingles on the roof, a newly painted porch, and a white picket fence. She was surprised when Ang started walking up the driveway.

“What are we doing here?”

“This is my friend Steve’s house. Believe it or not, this is where I go on Saturday nights.”

Susie was stunned. How could this be it? There had to be more to it than this, right? She got her answer when Steve opened the door.

“Ang! We’ve been waiting for you.”

Steve was tall and he looked a lot older than both she and Ang. It was obvious that he had been drinking, not only from the smell coming out of his mouth, but because his eyes were glossy and he couldn’t walk straight. It seemed like he didn’t even notice that Susie was with Ang, and if he did, he didn’t care.

Susie and Ang walked into the house and Ang shut the door behind them. Susie was sure that she wasn’t in the same house that she had just viewed from outside. Once the door was closed it took her a few minutes to adjust to the dim lighting, and when her eyes had finally settled, she realized that there were very few chairs in the living room; most of the people there were sitting on cushions on the floor. There was a haze in the room, too, and it wasn’t one that Suze was used to. It wasn’t until she saw some people passing around a joint that she realized what the pungent haze was. There was a flutter in her stomach at the thought of being here, but more than trepidation, she was excited. She knew that this was where the cool kids wanted to be, and even though she still wasn’t a cool kid, she was here.

Ang pulled Suze over to a cushion towards the edge of the room where Steve was sitting. The two of them didn’t even utter a word to each other before Steve handed Ang a beer, she took a drink, and they started kissing. It seemed like the only breath of air that they got was when Ang pulled away, pointed to the guy that she plopped Suze down next to, and told her that he was Steve’s cousin, Mark. She then took another drink of her beer and continued kissing Steve. Mark turned to Suze, nodded his hello, and passed her a joint. She took it and looked toward Ang for some advice, but the only response that she got was the quiet moan that escaped from Ang’s mouth as Steve pulled her closer. She was a little worried; she’d never even dreamed of doing anything like this before. As out of character as it was, Susie lifted the joint to her lips and puffed on it. Almost immediately she began coughing and Mark chuckled.

"Here, let me show you.”

He took the joint from her and eased it to his lips. It was as if the smoke from the joint was his natural oxygen; he breathed it in and blew it out like it was completely normal. He smiled at Suze and moved closer to her.

“All you have to do is breath in; the only difference is there’ll be a little smoke instead of just air. Just relax, it’ll be fine. Trust me, you’ll like this.”

He handed Susie the joint again and she took it, looked into his eyes for some support, and put the joint to her lips once again. She breathed in just like Mark had said, but this time she didn’t cough. As a matter of fact, she took what Mark called “the perfect hit,” and she smiled when she exhaled the silver smoke. After a few hits, Suze began to feel funny. She laughed at things that normally wouldn’t be funny, and enjoyed just sitting around more than she ever had before. Her skin felt elastic and her eyelids were heavy; she liked this new feeling.

Hours later Suze and Ang left the party and began walking back home. Suze knew that her parents wouldn’t be awake waiting for her; she was a good kid so they didn’t see any reason to not trust her. The whole night had been perfect and as they walked Suze replayed it in her head. She had really liked Mark and couldn’t wait for the next time that she could see him.

“So, did you have fun?”

“Yeah I did, but I have a question.” Suze said.

“What’s up?”

“Where exactly did you meet Steve and Mark?”

“I met Steve at the mall when I first moved here. I saw him out of the corner of my eye while I was shopping and we made eye contact. We kept looking at each other and he finally came up to me and asked if I partied. I told him yeah, and here we are today.”

“Serious?”

“Yeah.”

“So how old are they?”

“Steve’s 20 and Mark’s 19.”

“Hmm, sounds like the perfect ages,” Suze said as a mischievous smile spread across her face.

“So, do they get your approval? Are you going to keep coming with me to ‘study’ on Saturday nights?”

“As long as I’m invited, I’m going.”

Their sophomore year went by in a blur, and every Saturday night, Ang and Suze would go over to Steve’s house and get high and drink a little. Neither one of their parents ever suspected anything because they both kept their grades up and never showed any signs of changing that. Suze didn’t hang out with her old friends anymore, though, now the only people that she really hung out with were Ang, Mark, and Steve. No one at school really talked to either Suze or Ang. Suze hadn’t drawn attention to herself until she started hanging out with Ang, and nobody seemed that interested in Ang anymore, either. Mark and Suze had started dating, too, so when the two got together, they only had eyes for each other; Steve and Ang were the same way. Neither of the two cared about the kids at school because this was their life now.

During the last day of school, Ang pulled Suze aside.

“We need to come up with a plan so we can keep going out on Saturday’s without our parents suspecting anything. Obviously we can’t tell them that we’re studying now that school’s over.”

“Let’s just alternate weekends; the first one you can come over to my house and the next I’ll go to yours. I’m sure there will be sometime that we can convince them that we’re going over to someone else’s house and we can just stay at Steve’s, too. It’ll work out.”

Just like they had planned, the summer began with the slumber parties that started at Steve’s house and ended at whichever house the two girls could walk to the easiest after their nights of partying.

Chapter 3

It was the middle of the summer and Suze was getting ready to go over to Steve’s house. All week the two girls had been hanging out and Ang kept telling Suze that there was going to be something new at this party. She wasn’t sure what it was, but Steve kept telling her how much fun she’d have with it. Both girls were excited and couldn’t wait to get to Steve’s house to see what he had for them.

Around 9:00 they began the walk that had become second nature to them. A few minutes later they were knocking on Steve’s front door, and, as usual, Steve greeted them with little acknowledgement as he downed a beer. Mark was sitting on the couch waiting for Suze to show up and as she walked in the door he pulled her toward him. They kissed each other hello and Mark handed Suze a joint and a bottle of beer. Ang and Steven walked over to Mark and Suze.

“Why don’t you two come to the back with us? We’re going to have a little bit of fun on our own,” Steve said.

The four of them walked into the back room and shut the door. There was a click as the lock slid into place and the two girls waited in anticipation while Steve and Mark grinned knowingly at each other. The guys pulled the girls by their hands around the corner of a table and the girls gasped when they saw what was there. Right on the table were four lines of cocaine; one for each of them. They all looked around at each other; Steve and Mark both looked excited, like they were about to let Ang and Suze into a part of their life that the two knew nothing about. They went first; snorting their lines to show the girls how it was done. Suze looked at Ang; they were both nervous and didn’t want to be the first of the two of them to take their turn. Ang finally went first and when she lifted her head up after doing the line, Suze saw that there was a look of pure euphoria written across her face. Suze eagerly walked up to the table now and did her line. She had never felt better in her life. This was a high like none other that she had ever experienced before and she loved it.

The school year began a couple of weeks later, but that didn’t stop Ang and Suze from partying every weekend. Actually it gave them more incentive. They thought that after a long week of studying, they deserved to treat themselves. As the year continued to go by, the parties got a little harder—more and different drugs were becoming readily available and the girls soon ditched the weed and coke to try acid and meth. As the drugs got harder, so did keeping it from their parents. One night, after hours of partying, Suze and Ang got to Suze’s house only to find both sets of parents sitting in the living room.

“What’s going on here?” Suze asked, feeling a little nervous. She knew that her grades had started to fall, but she didn’t care. She had told her parents that the classes were just getting too hard now that she was an upperclassman. She thought that her parents had bought it, so why would they be here now?

Suze’s mother was crying and holding a picture of Susie in her hands, while her dad was leaning forward with his fingers intertwined. Ang’s parents looked lost. Her mom sat upright with her hands in her lap, clutching a tissue and her dad was pacing the living room; stopping every few steps to look at them.

Suze’s dad finally spoke up.

“We found this in your room, Susie; do you want to explain it?”

He held up a needle and a bag of meth. She had started shooting up to get a quicker high, but she thought that she left all of her gear at Steve’s house. How could she do something so stupid like putting it in her room? She didn’t even remember doing it…

“I…I don’t know where that came from,” Suze stuttered.

“You need to tell us Susie,” her mother sobbed, “We can help you if you just tell us the truth. For God’s sake, we just want to help you.”

“I don’t need any help, it’s not mine!”

Ang’s father turned around then, looking angry and hurt, and picked up a bag that was lying on the coffee table. He dumped the contents out and Ang gasped. She saw all of her drug stash roll out of the bag, and into plain view of everyone in the room.

“What about this, Angelique, is this yours?” He asked.

“No, it’s not mine; I don’t know where that came from.”

“One of you has to know something about all of this,” Susie’s dad said, almost begging one of them to speak up. “If you just tell us, we can get you help and everything will be fine for all of us.”

Ang just turned her head to avoid making eye contact. Both girls knew that they were caught and there was nothing they could do now. They were both really high and weren’t thinking rationally anyway, and now this! How could they have let this happen? They caught each other’s eyes while avoiding everyone else’s and nodded. They ran out of the house as their parents were yelling at them to stop, but they didn’t. They ran straight to Steve’s house where they knew that both Steve and Mark were still awake and partying. They didn’t even knock as they rushed in. Both girls were crying and Steve and Mark ran up to them asking what was wrong.

The story came out in between gasps and sobs. They knew that they were caught and couldn’t go back home, but didn’t want to stay in a place that was as close as Steve’s house was to their parent’s houses. Mark pulled Suze closer and held her while she cried; Steve did the same to Ang. There was no way to get the girls to calm down; because of the drugs they were both completely irrational about the situation. The guys pulled their emergency stash of meth and began getting shots ready for the girls. They gave them the last little bit of it to calm their nerves. Even before the needle entered their tender skin, the girls felt relieved. After the needle released the drug into their system both girls let out a calm sigh and turned to the guys. Mark pulled Suze to him and started kissing her. The two of them left the room, attached at the lips with their hands all over each other.

Meanwhile, Ang’s and Suze’s parents had called the police about their girls. They knew that they had been hanging out in the neighborhood, and they weren’t sure where, but they thought that they were probably there now. The police showed up to get pictures of the girls to take around the neighborhood; they went door to door looking for Ang and Suze.

They made their rounds around the neighborhood, going door to door, up and down every block. Suze began to hear dogs barking in the neighborhood, and she jumped up from where her and Mark had been lying. She peeked through the crack in the blinds and saw her parents walking with the police.

“Shit!”

She told everyone that the police were coming, and everyone began to panic, their eyes darting back and forth as they tried to quietly figure out what to do.

The police finally made their way to Steve’s doorstep and knocked firmly on the door.

“This is the police; we need to ask a few questions.”

Steve took a few deep breaths before he opened the door.

“Can I help you, Officer?” Steve offered.

“Two teenage girls have run away and are believed to be in this area,” said the Officer, “Have you seen either one of these girls?” He handed Steve the pictures of Ang and Suze.

“No I haven’t, I just got back into town a few hours ago from visiting my parents, so I haven’t seen much more than the inside of my eyelids. Sorry I couldn’t help you more.”

“If you do see either one of them will you please give us a call immediately? They may be in danger, and we want to get them some help as quickly as possible.”

Steve glanced down at the pictures one more time before handing them back to the police officer.

“If I see them, you’ll be the first person I call.”

“Thank you, young man,” the officer said as the walked away.

Suze and Ang had both watched the scene play out from the bedroom window, and they watched as their parents walked away with the police officer.

Suze hadn’t slept for almost three days straight and wasn’t even tired. She had put the incident with her parents and the police out of her mind. She had more important things to deal with, like her and Mark. They were lying on the bed together and Mark was sound asleep. She smiled at the image as she got out of bed and went into the bathroom. As she walked in, she stopped in front of the mirror. Her face looked hollow, but she didn’t care; she just wanted to get high again. Mark walked into the bathroom after a couple of minutes, and without even saying anything tied off her arm and got a needle ready. After Mark gave Suze her shot, she walked out of the bathroom to find Ang, who was sitting at the kitchen table. Suze sat down and they gave each other a knowing look.

“I’m not leaving this house any time soon. I’m not going to school; I’m not going home; I’m gonna stay here with Mark and we’re gonna get married and move out of this dump,” Suze said.

“I’ll be here with you until you can leave. Maybe when you and Mark get married me and Steve will too. Then we can all get out of here,” Ang replied.

For months the four of them lived in Steve’s house; partying every night and every day. They were always high and hardly ever slept. One morning Suze felt sick and ran to the bathroom. She didn’t think anything of it until she was sick for two weeks straight. She told Ang about it, and Ang looked panicked.

“What if you’re pregnant? Oh shit, you can’t be pregnant!”

It turned out that Suze was pregnant, and she didn’t know what to do. All she wanted to do was leave; she wanted Mark to take her away from this town, so she wouldn’t have to face anyone. When she told Mark about the baby, though, he told her to get an abortion and walked out of the room like it was no big deal. Suze wanted to scream. This was her child! Why couldn’t anyone see that this was more than just an inconvenience?

A few days later, Mark pulled Suze closer to him after hours of love-making.

“Did you get it taken care of?”

“Get what taken care of?”

“The abortion.”

“I’m not getting an abortion, Mark.”

“Yes you are, Suze, we can’t have a baby.”

“I can’t do it. I may never have listened to anything else that my parents told me, but that is one thing that stuck. I’m not going to have an abortion.”

“You will or you can move out, I’m not going to take care of a baby. I have shit of my own to do, and a baby will just get in my way.”

“Fine, whatever, I’ll do it,” Suze sighed.

She didn’t tell Mark what she would do, but her answer satisfied him. He rolled out of bed and got a needle ready for the two of them. He tied off her arm and gave her a hit and took the rest for himself. Hours later Suze was gone. She had decided to go back to her parents and tell them that she was leaving town, for good.

The walk home seemed to take forever. It was only half a mile, but Suze was paranoid. She knew that every person she passed was talking about her; she even saw people that weren’t really there looming over her with a knowing look. What was worse, she saw pictures of her and Ang posted on a bulletin board at the post office that was between Steve’s house and her parent’s with the words “Runaway” posted in big letters on top of the page. Finally, almost in tears, Suze reached her parents house and knocked. No one answered the door. She rang the doorbell and walked around the house. Her parent’s cars were gone and the only sound coming from the house was the television, which her parents had always left on when they left for the evening. She turned to walk away with a sigh; she knew that this was the last time that she would see her parent’s house.

Walking to the bus stop was one of the hardest things that Suze had done in a long time. She stuck her hands in her pockets; she had taken some money and a stash of meth from Mark to hold her over for her trip. She didn’t know where she was going, but she knew that she couldn’t stay here anymore. She was pregnant and had to get out of drugs. They would kill her baby. They would kill her, too, if she didn’t quit soon. Susie finally made it to the bus station on the corner of Oak and 5th, and she sat on a bench waiting for the bus to come. She looked nervous as she waited, her eyes darting left and right as if expecting something horrible to jump out at her. Her watch didn’t seem to be working; the seconds were ticking by at an excruciatingly slow pace. No one was around, but Susie hugged her jacket closer to her anyway; she could feel eyes watching her, and her fingers dug over her skin. It felt like there was something crawling under her skin and she had to get it out. Finally, after what seemed like hours, the bus pulled up; brakes squelching as it pulled to a stop in front of her. She bent down to pick up her things and saw that her skin was bright red from where she had been scratching. She tugged her jacket even tighter, stood up, walked to the open door that was waiting for her, and stepped onto the bus. She jumped as the door slammed shut, but regained her composure quickly and took a seat near the back. As she looked out the window, she bid good riddance to the town that had robbed her of her childhood and prematurely left her an adult.