MLA Style: Internet Citations
Information from Internet sources should be given in the following order.
If any information is not provided, skip to the next step.
1. Author/s (or the names of any individuals or organizations that are responsible
for the posting, such as an editor or a government).
2. Title of article or other short work, such as the title of a poem (in
quotation marks).
3. Title of book or journal (underlined).
4. Editor or translator, if not given in step 1.
5. Publication information from any print version.
6. Internet site title (underlined).
7. Site editor
8. Version, volume, issue, or other numbers.
9. Date of site
10. Subscription service and name and location of subscriber
12. The number of pages, paragraphs, or sections. Give these numbers only
if they appear on the Internet site itself; do not give page numbers that
appear only in a printout.
13. The name of the sponsoring organization, if it is not given earlier.
14. Date when you got the material from the Internet.
15. The URL. If it is long, shorten it to the search address.
MLA Style: Sample Works Cited Page
Works Cited
Alejandro, R., F. C. Feldman, F. L. Shienvold, and D. H. Mintz. "Advances in Canine
Diabetes Mellitis Research: Etiopathology and Results of Islet Transplantation." J
Am Vet Med Assoc 193.9 (1988):1050-5. 17 September 2007
<http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/>.
Allis, Tim and Michael Haederle. "Ace in the Hole: Stefania Pollini Never Caved In."
People 12 June 1989:52.
American Psychological Association. Publication Manual of the American Psychological
Association. 3rd ed. Washington: APA, 1984.
Be-Zvi, Linda. "Murder She Wrote': the Genesis of Susan Glaspell's Trifles." Theatre
Journal 44 (1992): 141-62. Rpt. in Susan Glaspell: Essays on Her Theater and
Fiction. Ed. Linda Ben-Zvi. Ann Arbor: U of Michigan P, 1995. 19-48.
Claxton, Guy. Hare Brain and Tortoise Mind: How Intelligence Increases When You
Think Less. Hopewell, New Jersey: Ecco, 1997.
"Media Giants." 2001. PBS Online. 7 Mar. 2001 .
Merritt, Sharon and Barbara E. Berger. "Obstructive Sleep Apnea-Hyponea Syndrome."
American Journal of Nursing 104.7 (2004): 49-52. General Science Abstracts.
Miller Lib., Western New Mexico University, Silver City, NM. 3 February 2005
<http://newfirstsearch.oclc.org/>.
United States. Cong. House Committee on the Judiciary. Immigration and Nationality
with Amendments and Notes on Related Laws. 7th ed. Washington: GPO, 1980.
New Mexico. New Mexico Historic Records Advisory Board. State Records Center and
Archives.17 Nov. 2005. 17 Sept. 2007
<http://www.nmcpr.state.nm.us/nmhrab/regrant.htm>.
The following is an annotated Works Cited page which labels types of citations.
The information given in bold explains the type of citation, and should not
be included in your Works Cited page.
Works Cited
Article in magazine:
Allis, Tim and Michael Haederle. "Ace in the Hole: Stefania Pollini Never Caved In."
People 12 June 1989:52.
Organization as author:
American Psychological Association. Publication Manual of the American Psychological
Association. 3rd ed. Washington: APA 1984.
Article from a professional journal reprinted in an anthology:
Be-Zvi, Linda. "Murder She Wrote': the Genesis of Susan Glaspell's Trifles." Theatre
Journal 44 (1992): 141-62. Rpt. in Susan Glaspell: Essays on Her Theater and
Fiction. Ed. Linda Ben-Zvi. Ann Arbor: U of Michigan P, 1995. 19-48.
Book:
Claxton, Guy. Hare Brain and Tortoise Mind: How Intelligence Increases When You
Think Less. Hopewell, New Jersey: Ecco, 1997.
Internet site for television program:
"Media Giants." 2001. PBS Online. 7 Mar. 2001 <http://wwwpbs.org>.
Professional journal accessed through an online subscription service:
Merritt, Sharon and Barbara E. Berger. "Obstructive Sleep Apnea-Hyponea Syndrome."
American Journal of Nursing 104.7 (2004): 49-52. General Science Abstracts.
Miller Lib., Western New Mexico University, Silver City, NM. 3 February 2005
<http://newfirstsearch.oclc.org/>.
Play reprinted in an anthology:
Shakespeare, William. A Midsummer Night's Dream. Literature: Introduction to
Fiction, Poetry, Drama, and Writing. Eds. X. J. Kennedy and Dana Gioia. 10th
ed. New York: Pearson Longman, 2007. 1592-1657.
Government publication with no author:
United States. Cong. House Committee on the Judiciary. Immigration and Nationality
with Amendments and Notes on Related Laws. 7th ed. Washington: GPO, 1980.
The following is an annotated Works Cited page which explains each element
of a citation. The highlighted material (for example, authors)
is given only for your clarification and should not be included in your reference
page.
Works Cited
Allis, Tim and Michael Haederle. authors "Ace in the Hole: Stefania Pollini Never Caved In."
article title People magazine title 12 June 1989:52. publication date and page on which
the article appears
American Psychological Association. organization as author Publication Manual of the American
Psychological Association. title of book 3rd ed. edition Washington: APA 1984. city of
publication, publisher, and year of publication
Be-Zvi, Linda. author"Murder She Wrote': the Genesis of Susan Glaspell's Trifles." title of
article Theatre Journal 44 (1992): 141-62. volume, year, and pages on which the article
occurs Rpt. in Susan Glaspell: Essays on Her Theater and Fiction. book in which the
article is reprinted Ed. Linda Ben-Zvi. editor Ann Arbor: U of Michigan P, 1995. 19-48.
city of publication, publisher, year published, and pages on which the article appears
Claxton, Guy. author Hare Brain and Tortoise Mind: How Intelligence Increases When You
Think Less. book title Hopewell, New Jersey: Ecco, 1997. city of publication, publisher,
year published
"Media Giants." title of article 2001. PBS Online. title of Internet site 7 Mar. 2001 date accessed
http://wwwpbs.org. shortened URL
Merritt, Sharon and Barbara E. Berger. authors "Obstructive Sleep Apnea-Hyponea Syndrome."
title of article American Journal of Nursing journal 104.7 (2004): 49-52. volume, issue
number, year, and pages on which the article appears General Science Abstracts.
subscription service Miller Lib., Western New Mexico University, Silver City, NM.
name and location of subscriber 3 February 2005 date accessed
<http//.newfirstsearch.oclc.org/>. shortened URL
United States. name of country Cong. House Committee on the Judiciary. sponsoring department
Immigration and Nationality with Amendments and Notes on Related Laws. title 7th ed.
edition Washington: GPO, 1980. city of publication, publisher, and year published
Possessive Form
When and How to Add “S” and Apostrophes
The possessive form is used when someone owns something: my brother’s car,
the Garcias’ house, or WNMU’s add/drop policy.
If you are not sure if you need the possessive form, reverse the words and
add “of”: the car of my brother; the house of the Garcias, or the add/drop
policy of WMNU. If the resulting combination does not make sense, you probably
have a simple plural form and do not need possessive form.
Once you are sure you need possessive form, there are four simple steps to
follow. Do not change the order of the steps.
Step 1) Write the word for the owner as singular
or plural, whichever is appropriate.
Examples:
my brother the Garcias WNMU three girls women our society two
societies
Step 2) Add an apostrophe.
Examples:
my brother’ the Garcias’
WNMU’ three girls’ women’
our society’ two societies’
Step 3) If there is no s, add one.
Examples:
my brother’s the Garcias’
WNMU’s three girls’
women’s our society’s two societies’
Note that the location of the apostrophe depends upon whether the owner is
singular or plural, and how the plural is formed.
Putting the three steps together:
I wrecked my brother’s car.
The Garcias’ house is on Swan Street.
What is WNMU’s add/drop policy?
The three girls’ books were ruined by the rain.
A women’s club is being formed.
Our society’s problems are enormous.
Two societies’ resources have been joined.
Punctuation
’ Apostrophes
Apostrophes are used in contractions, in which two words are joined and letters
are omitted. (Note that contractions usually are not used in formal academic
writing.)
>I don’t like lobster.
>Why can’t you be quiet?
They are also used to indicate possession.
>She stole Michelle’s ring.
>The babies’ parents are pleased with the daycare center.
Apostrophes are not used with words
that already possessive, such as his and hers.
>The building collapsed
into its foundation.
Apostrophes may be used to form the plurals
of abbreviations, letters, and numbers, but they are not required.
>He is in his 50’s.
>He is in his 50s.
: Colons
A colon is used to introduce a list or an example, or for emphasis of a key
word or phrase. When used this way, a complete sentence must precede or follow
the colon.
>There are four main ingredients in pasta: flour, eggs, salt, and water.
>William Shakespeare: he was the greatest writer of the English language.
A colon is also used in the salutation of a business letter.
, Commas
Commas are mini-pauses. They tell readers where to pause a little, and where
to drop the voice. They keep units of meaning together to help clarify the
sentence.
Commas are used after a phrase or group of words that come before the subject
and predicate of the sentence.
>During the monsoon season, New Mexico gets most of its yearly rain.
>Because she wanted to look good in a bikini, Georgia went on a diet.
They are used to separate sentences that are joined with connecting words.
>Victor began his career as a cook in a small restaurant,
and he gradually worked
his way up to running a world-class restaurant in New York.
If the sentences are short, you may omit the comma.
>Amy attends WNMU and Albert attends NMSU.
Commas are used to separate items in a series.
>I went to the store with Maria, Felipe,
and Stuart.
The comma may be omitted between the last two items, especially in journalism.
>The company was founded by Martha Fields, Tom Rodriguez and Helen Lerma.
Commas are used between descriptive words.
>He was a tired, angry man.
If a word joins with another word to create one descriptive meaning, use
a hyphen instead of a comma.
>He was dead-tired
and beet-red from the sun..
Hint: He was not “dead” or “beet.” “Dead-tired” and “beet-red”
must stay together to create the intended meanings.
Commas are sometimes used to set off words or groups of words.
>My mother, who lives in Iowa,
came to visit me.
>Susan, depressed because of the grades she was getting, decided to get
help from the Writing Center.
Do not put one comma between the subject and predicate. You can use two
commas to set off material that comes between the subject and predicate.
Error: Albert, grew up in Cliff.
Correct version: Albert, my neighbor,
grew up in Cliff.
Commas are used to separate elements in dates and locations.
>He was born on May 5, 2005.
>She moved to Santa Fe, New Mexico.
Commas are not usually used after “and” and “but.” If a comma is
necessary, it comes before “and” and “but.”
>I have three dogs, and I want a fourth.
>I have three dogs, but I want a fourth.
Hint: When reading these sentences aloud, the pause (slight drop in voice)
should come before “and” and “but.” It will sound funny if you pause after
“and” or “but.”
The exception for this rule comes when
a phrase is inserted between the “and” or “but” and the rest of the sentence.
A second comma will separate this phrase from the rest of the sentence.
>The Jones are selling their house and,
on the advice of their realtor, they have
lowered the price.
>They were arrested but,
because of a lack of evidence, they were released.
Periods
Periods are used at the ends of sentences. They are like stop signs. They
make readers pause and drop their voices.
>I had tacos for lunch.
They are used in abbreviations.
>Mr. Marin
>etc.
They are not used in acronyms (words made up of the first letters of other
words):
>WNMU
“ ” Quotation Marks
Quotation marks are used to indicate the exact words that someone wrote or
said.
>Max said, “I enjoy
fishing.”
Do not use quotation marks when you are summarizing what was said.
>Max said that he enjoys fishing.
They are sometimes used to emphasize a word or indicate that a word is used
informally or in a special way.
>She had a “funky” style.
They are used to indicate the titles of short works, like poems, articles,
or short stories.
>He wrote an essay on “Young
Goodman Brown.”
“” . , ; - ? ! Quotation Marks with Other Punctuation
Periods and commas usually go inside the quotation marks.
>She said, “I wish I didn’t have to go to work.”
“I’m going home,” he said.
If the quotation is followed by a parenthetical citation and/or a page number,
periods and commas are given after the quotation mark, the page number, and
the final parenthesis.
>MLA Style:
“If infant rats are deprived of their mothers, growth hormone levels and
ODC
activity both rapidly decline” (Sapolsky 88).
Long quotations (four or more lines) are indented ten spaces; do not add
quotation marks. If quoting formally, put the page number after the period.
>APA Style:
If infant rats are deprived of their mothers, growth hormone
levels and
ODC activity both rapidly decline. That may suggest that ODC activity declines
because there is no longer growth hormone around to stimulate it. However,
if you inject those infant rats with growth hormone, ODC activity still does
not return to normal—the cells no longer respond to the growth hormone signal. (Sapolsky 1998, 88)
Colons and semicolons go outside of quotation marks.
>”He wrote, “I love you madly”; she framed the letter.
Question marks, exclamation points, and dashes will come either before or
after the final quotation mark, depending on the intended meaning. If the
question or exclamation is part of the quotation, the question mark or exclamation
point will be inside the closing quotation mark.
>She asked, “Where do you live?”
>He said, “I love you!”
If the question or exclamation is about the quotation, the question mark
or exclamation point will come at the end, after the closing quotation mark.
>What did she mean when she said “That is an interesting painting”?
>I was amazed when he said “I am going to retire”!
“‘’” Quoting within Quotations
When quoting short passages (fewer than four lines) use double quotation
marks (“”) to indicate that you are quoting, and single quotation marks (‘’)
within the double quotation marks to indicate that the author or speaker was
quoting.
>“‘Faith kept me back awhile,’
replied the young man, with a tremor in his voice, caused by the sudden appearance
of his companion, though not wholly unexpected”
(Hawthorne 2817).
If you are quoting a long passage (more than three lines), indent ten spaces
and do not add quotation marks. Do include quotation marks that were in the
original source.
> “Faith kept me back awhile,” replied the young man, with a tremor in his
voice, caused by the sudden appearance of his companion, though not wholly
unexpected.
It was now deep dusk in the forest, and deepest in that part of it where
these two were journeying. (Hawthorne 2186)
; Semicolons
Semicolons are used between sentences instead of a period in order to keep
the meanings together.
>David has a Mercedez Benz; Carol has a Saturn.
>I drove to class; it was too hot to walk.
They can be used to separate items in a series to prevent confusion. The
semicolon clarifies which items belong together.
>She had to choose one of
the applicants: Chris, the accountant; Robin, the graphic artist;
or Tyrone, the biologist.
Run-on Sentences and Comma
Splices
Run-on sentences and comma splices are errors that happen when two (or more)
sentences are joined in ways that do not work. In a run-on, sentences are
crammed together. In a comma splice, two sentences are joined with a comma,
which is not strong enough to hold them together.
Creating a run-on sentence is like running a stop sign. Comma splices are
like slowing down (but not stopping) at stop signs. You can get a ticket
for either offense.
Run-on sentences and comma splices can be fixed in the following ways:
Create two sentences: I went to the grocery store. I
bought kumquats.
Insert a semicolon (;) between the two sentences: Sheila is very
tall; her husband is very short.
Add a connecting word or phrase (such as “and,” “but” “when” “because,””
“or” “if,” “since,” and “even though”): You should wear a jacket if
it is cold outside.
Reword the sentence: Ramon had to walk to class because his car did
not start.
Examples (notice that grammar check did not catch them):
Errors:
Run-on sentences.
>I was hungry I ate a grasshopper.
>The cat ran in the dog ran out.
>The price of gas went up this month it went down last month.
Comma splices.
>I was hungry, I ate a grasshopper.
>The cat ran in, the dog ran out.
>The price of gas went up this month, it went down last month.
Correct versions (underlining indicates the changes made).
>I was hungry. I ate a grasshopper.
> I was hungry; I ate a grasshopper
>I was hungry, so I ate a grasshopper.
>Because I was hungry, I ate a grasshopper.
>The cat ran in. The dog ran out.
>The cat ran in; the dog ran out.
>The cat ran in, and the dog ran out.
>When the cat ran in, the dog ran out.
>The price of gas went up this month. It went down last month.
>The price of gas went up this month; it went down last month.
>The price of gas went up this month and it went down last month.
>Although the price of gas went up this month, it went down
last month.
Hints for Finding and Fixing Run-ons
and Comma Splices
The easiest way to find run-ons and comma splices is to insert one of the
following words in the spot where you think there may be a problem:
and
but
because
when
If any of these words make sense in the sentence, you probably have an error.
This technique will work most of the time.
Examples:
Run-on: I went to the grocery store I bought kumquats.
Comma splice: I went to the grocery store, I bought kumquats.
Word-insertion test: I went to the grocery store and I bought
kumquats.
Run-on: Sheila is very tall her husband is very short.
Comma splice: Sheila is very tall, her husband is very short.
Word-insertion test: Sheila is very tall, but her husband is
very short.
Run-on: You should wear a jacket it is cold outside.
Comma splice: You should wear a jacket, it is cold outside.
Word-insertion test: You should wear a jacket because it is
cold outside.
Run-on: Ramon’s car did not start he had to walk to class.
Comma splice: Ramon’s car did not start, he had to walk to class.
Word-insertion test: When Ramon’s car did not start,
he had to walk to class.
Sentence fragments
Sentence fragments mean something is missing. Sometimes, a fragment may
make sense and may even be appropriate (depending on your purpose and audience),
but it usually should be avoided in formal academic writing. For example,
if you are going to have lunch with a friend and you send an email reminder
like “See you tomorrow,” you and the friend both know what you mean. However,
“See you tomorrow” is technically a fragment because it is missing the subject
(I) and part of the predicate (will). To make the sentence grammatically
correct, you would write “I will see you tomorrow.”
The easiest way to spot fragments is to read aloud, sentence by sentence,
starting at the end of the essay and working your way up. This is
because a fragment often connects with the sentence that comes before it.
Sentence fragment: The richest man in Silver City.
You can probably tell that something is missing here. However, if the sentence
that came before it was “He got a call from Edward,” you might put the two
together, and the fragment would make sense.
Correction: He got a call from Edward, the richest man in Silver City.
When in doubt, reword the sentence:
Reworded sentences: Edward, the richest man in Silver City, called
him.
>He got a call from Edward, the richest man in Silver City.
Fragments also happen when a sentence is so long it feels complete.
Sentence fragment: The student, overwhelmed by debts, midterms, and
a
demanding boss, weighed down by the burden of responsibility.
The sentence is missing the predicate, which is what the student (the subject)
did or is.
Correction: The student, overwhelmed by debts, midterms, and a demanding
boss, was weighed down by the burden of responsibility.
Reworded sentence: The student was overwhelmed by debts, midterms,
and a demanding boss, and weighed down by the burden of responsibility.
Note that the grammar checker did not catch the sentence fragments
given above.
How to Tell if the Sentence Is
Complete
Is there a subject (someone performing an action or being acted upon)?
Is there a predicate (a verb that reveals what the subject does or what happens
to the subject)?
> The dog [subject] ate [predicate]
the chicken.
>The woman [subject] is [predicate]
unhappy.
>There [subject] are
[predicate] three pens on the table.
Note that adding certain words can turn a complete sentence into a fragment:
Fragments:
>The dog that at the chicken
>When the woman is unhappy
>Because there are three pens on the table
Spelling Confusion
Accept/Except
> I accept the gift.
>I like every vegetable except okra.
Hint: “Accept” and “except” are opposite
in meaning.
To “accept” means to agree to take or believe
something.
They accepted the offer on the house.
Do you accept the theory of evolution?
“Ex” means to take away or leave out, as
in ex-wife, ex-boss.
>Everyone can come except
you.
>Bring everything except the
kitchen sink.
Affect/Effect
>The rise in interest rates
will not affect me.
>The effect of the
rise in interest rates is insignificant.
Hints: In most cases, “affect” will be
a verb and “effect” will be a noun. (“Affect” can be a noun and “effect”
a verb, but they have different meanings when used this way.)
A noun is a person, place, or thing. “Effect”
is a thing.
>The effect of the earthquake
on Indonesia was devastating.
A verb is an action.
>The earthquake affected Indonesia
in a devastating way.
A lot/allot
>I want to have a lot of money.
>The foundation allotted money to the museum.
Hints: “A lot” refers to large quantities or to a large degree.
>He ate a lot of pizza.
>He liked pizza a lot.
It is a phrase made up of two words: “a” and “lot.” A useful memory device
is to picture an arrow between the two words:
a -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------à lot
“Allot” is a verb that means to assign
money or resources to someone or something.
>Congress allotted $3,448,900 for the
construction of a new bridge.
Its/It’s
>The dog ate its food.
>It’s raining.
Hints:
Its=his and hers. They are possessive forms.
> John combed his hair while the cat cleaned its fur.
It’s = it is. If you can say “It
is,” use “it’s.” The apostrophe (’) is in place of the missing “i”
in the contraction.
>It’s exciting to go to college.
There/their/they’re
>There are three bears over there.
>Their house burned down.
>They’re going to Calcutta.
Hints: “There” is difficult to define. It can be the subject of
a sentence.
>There are no clouds in the sky.
It can be about location.
>Where is it? It is there!
Notice that “where,” “there,” and “here” all have the same core spelling:
“here.”
“Their” is the possessive form of “they.”
>They gave the car to their heir.
“They’re” is the short form of “they
are.” The apostrophe (’) is over the missing “a.”
>When they’re rich, they’re
happy.
To/too/two
>Jane walked to school.
>I want to go to sleep.
>You are too late.
>The rock is too heavy to lift.
>I am going too.
>There are two robins over there.
Hints: “To” is either a connecting word in a phrase, like “to the
mall,” or “to the limit,” or it links with a verb.
>My goal is to become a nurse.
>To be healthy, you must exercise.
Too” refers to quantity or quality, as in too big, too
clumsy, too small, too ugly.
>I am too tired to wash the dishes.
“Too” also means also.
>The lions had breakfast, and the elephants ate too.
“Two” is a number, like “twelve.”
>If you subtract twelve from fourteen,
you get two.
Who’s/whose
>Who’s coming with us?
>Whose book is this?
Hints: “Who’s” is the short form for “who is.” The apostrophe (’)
is over the missing “i.”
>Who’s here?”
“Whose” is possessive form of who.
>Whose house is that?
Style: Choosing Your Words with Care
Vocabulary
If you are writing is to communicate, choose words that convey the exact
meaning you want in the simplest and fastest way possible. Beware of selecting
words because they are long or unusual. This approach can confuse readers,
and sometimes leads to accidental humor.
A thesaurus can be useful for jogging your memory of words you already know.
However, you should never take a word from a thesaurus that is new to you.
Words that seem to mean the same thing can have very different meanings, but
the thesaurus may treat them as all being equal.
For example, Thesaurus.com gives “stubborn” and “bulldogged” as synonyms
for “persistent.” However, these words do not mean the same thing. It may
be a compliment to tell your sister she is persistent; if you tell her she
is stubborn or bulldogged, you will create a different reaction. Similarly,
Thesaurus.com offers “burning” as another word for “hot,” but a “hot” classroom
and a “burning” classroom are not the same.
The best way to improve vocabulary is to read. For a quicker solution, study
the vocabulary that is important to your field. Important words can sometimes
be found in a glossary at the end of textbooks.
Sentence Structure and Sentence
Combining
The best style is one that has a variety of sentence types and lengths.
Here are some examples of how sentences can be structured.
Simple sentences have a basic “subject followed by predicate structure.”
>The dog ran in the house.
>The cat ran out of the house.
>Some investment counselors advise clients to invest heavily
in stocks.
>Other investment counselors advise clients to diversify.
Compound sentences have two sentences joined by a coordinating conjunction
(such as “and”, “but,” “or,” and “yet.”)
>The dog ran in the house, and the cat ran out.
>The dog ran in the house, but the cat ran out.
>Some investment counselors advise clients invest heavily in stocks, and
others
advise them to diversify.
>Some investment counselors advise clients invest heavily in stocks, yet
others
advise them to diversify.
Complex sentences have an independent clause (a complete sentence) and one
or more dependent clauses. A dependent clause cannot stand on its own.
>Because the dog ran in the house, the cat ran out.
>The dog ran in the house after the cat ran out.
>Some investment counselors advise clients invest heavily in stocks, while
others
advise them to diversify.
>Although some investment counselors advise clients invest heavily in
stocks,
others advise them to diversify.
Style Pointers
Cut down on the use of the verb “to be.” Although “to be” is the
most important verb in the English language, overuse of it is boring.
-“The cat is dead” vs. “The cat died.”
-“The pizza was great” vs. “The pizza tasted great.”
-“The cloud was massive and covered the mountain top” vs. “The massive cloud
covered the mountain top” or, better yet, “The cloud covered the mountain
top.”
Cut down on the use of the passive voice. The passive voice occurs
when the subject of the sentence is acted upon. With the active voice, the
subject performs the action.
Passive voice:
-The man was bitten by the dog. (The man is passive; he is not doing anything.)
-The bill was passed by Congress. (The bill does not do anything.)
-The Writing Center was created to assist students. (The Writing
Center did not
create itself.).
Active voice:
-The dog bit the man. (The dog is active. It did the biting.)
-Congress passed the bill. (Congress performed the action.)
-WNMU created the Writing Center to assist students. (WNMU performed
the
action.)
The active voice creates a more interesting tone. However, there are times
when the passive voice should be used to place emphasis where it is needed.
For example, “WNMU created the Writing Center to assist students” places the
emphasis on WNMU instead of on the Writing Center. The choice of active or
passive depends on what you want to stress.
Cut down on the use of prepositional phrases. Prepositional phrases
use words like “of,” “for,” “by,” “to,” and “with.” They can sometimes be
eliminated without changing the intended meaning. The resulting style will
be tighter and more interesting. An example of prepositional overuse is “In
this modern society of today, there is too much violence.” Six unnecessary
words could be eliminated by simply writing “There is too much violence.”
Cut down on nominalizations. Nominalizations are nouns that were
made from verbs.
-introduceàintroduction: “Congress will introduce the bill in October”
vs. “The
introduction of the bill by Congress will be in October.”
-assistàassistance:
“I will assist you” vs. “I will give you assistance.”
-vilifyàvilification:
“Sue vilified the administrator” vs. “The vilification of the
administrator was by Sue.”
Cut down on abstract, vague, or pretentious language. Classic examples
include utilization, feasibility, individual, interface, and the tongue-in-cheek
bumper sticker, “eschew obfuscation.” Such words and phrases are often used
to make the writer sound intelligent rather than to communicate. For other
examples, type “pretentious word list” into a Google search.
Vague or pretentious language may be used to conceal information or to lie,
as George Orwell pointed out in his essay “Politics and the English Language.”
Inspired by Orwell, the National Council of Teachers of English created the
Doublespeak Award in 1974. It goes to people or organizations that have used
language to distort the truth. For the interesting (and sometimes disturbing)
list, go to http://www.ncte.org/about/awards/council/other/106868.htm?source=gs.
For the NCTE George Orwell Award
for Distinguished Contribution to Honesty and Clarity in Public Language,
go to http://www.ncte.org/about/awards/council/other/113240.htm?source=gs.
Choose powerful nouns and verbs, and use adjectives and adverbs sparingly.
You may have been told to put lots of adjectives and adverbs in your writing
to make it more descriptive. However, the real power of language lies in
verbs and nouns. Overuse of adjectives and adverbs bogs writing down; powerful
nouns and verbs bring the writing to life. Ernest Hemingway provides the
model for using nouns and verbs effectively:
I ate the end of my piece of cheese and took a swallow of wine. Through the
other noise I heard a cough, then came the chuh-chuh-chuh-chuh- then there
was a flash, as when a blast-furnace door is swung open, and a roar that started
white and went red and on and on in a rushing wind. (56-57)
A less-skilled writer might have written (with apologies to Ernest Hemingway),
“I ate the end of my piece of very moldy, dried-out cheese and took an enormous
swallow of cheap, unpleasantly sour, watered-down wine. Through the other
annoying, overwhelming noise, I heard a loud, terrifying cough…” (56-57).
Cut whenever possible. Most professional writers overwrite. Their
first drafts are often longer than the published drafts because a significant
part of their revision involves cutting. They eliminate words, phrases, passages,
and entire sections as they figure out what they want to say and how to say
it.
Transitional Words and Phrases
For more extensive lists, type “transitional words and phrases” into a
Google search.
Time transitions:
then next later after when meanwhile subsequently ever since
Examples:
for example for instance in particular specifically
Conclusions drawn:
so thus because therefore consequently moreover because
Extensions of ideas:
in addition another moreover also
Contrasts and opposition:
but although nevertheless apart from and yet conversely in contrast however on the other hand even though
Endings:
in conclusion overall ultimately therefore